The mental game.
We experience life through our senses and interact within the physical, mental, and spiritual world. Depending on the person, we may spend more time in one arena than another. For example, professional athletes dwell in the physical world but most likely spend time building their mental and spiritual capacities to support their efforts toward being the best they can be. Founders of big tech got where they were by their innate cognitive ability and may have supplemented their rise by maintaining their health and trying to avoid becoming too narrowminded by exploring spiritual growth outside of science. In comparison, religious or different spiritual teachers focus their energies on our purpose in the world while honoring the body and mind they have been tasked with maintaining. All three areas require dedication and focus to preserve and strengthen. We build our physical bodies through exercise. We expand our spiritual lives through mindfulness, prayer, or other religious practices. But how do we develop our mental capacity to process good and bad experiences without losing resilience but gaining more?
The importance of grit
Psychologist Angela Duckworth defined the personality trait grit as perseverance and passion for long-term goals[1]. If we drill down deeper into this definition, we learn that perseverance is the ability to continue to take on a task despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. Passion is strong enthusiasm or excitement for whatever you think, feel, or do. And long-term goals are important to distinguish from short-term goals. Long-term goals imply that achievement isn’t immediate or obvious and may take undetermined time to complete. We believe we can succeed; we’re just unsure how or when. Building grit is an exercise in developing mental capacity and requires no innate talent to improve. Anyone can do it. It requires discovering your passions and accepting that there are things you should do when pursuing them. There will be times of distraction or wanes in motivation; that’s when perseverance comes into play and a focus on the long-term outcome you’re seeking. Putting these mental pieces together consistently builds the grit muscles.
Grit is also a key piece to building overall mental resilience. Self-awareness is another. Understanding ourselves and how we process and interpret the world we see can shed light on our beliefs. Researchers and psychologists Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatté describe eight “ticker-tape” or in-the-moment beliefs that shape the behaviors that follow them. These are interpretations we make automatically when dealing with immediate adversities. Overgeneralization, personalizing, externalizing, jumping to conclusions, tunnel vision, mindreading, magnifying or minimizing, and emotional reasoning are the beliefs we may default to when facing adversity[2]. Understanding these and the consequences that may follow helps us make better decisions and build greater mental resilience.
Mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness training has become more mainstream, and we see more talks and presentations on its benefits. Deep breathing is a simple method for refocusing our attention from an obstacle or challenge and back to ourselves. Try this technique the next time your brain is distracted. Breathe in through your nose to a count of four and hold for a count of four. Exhale through your mouth to a count of four and rest for a count of four. Repeat this cycle 3-4 times and then re-examine what was on your mind before the exercise. You’re likely to have a clearer mind and a changed perspective.
Several great meditation apps like Headspace[3] and Calm[4] provide guided meditations from different experts and a variety of interests. People new to meditation find the practice challenging to master, but even 2-3 minutes of breathing and focusing on calming your thoughts can be beneficial. It’s normal for our brains to jump around from thought to thought. That’s where the term monkey mind comes from. Accepting this and working toward relaxing your mind for a few seconds, then a minute, and then several minutes takes time, but worth the commitment.
Morning pages
Journaling is a great companion habit to follow up a meditation practice. I incorporate a journaling session immediately after deep breathing or meditation. As a result, my mind is clear and open, and I can spend time putting everything in its proper perspective. You can write in free form or work from a series of questions focusing on specific interest areas. Many excellent paper and digital options are available, and you need to find the one that fits your goals. If you’ve struggled to start or maintain a journaling habit, consider writing for the benefit of others. Something to leave behind so those who remember you will have an anthology of your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. The habit becomes more meaningful for yourself and others.
Building mental resilience is a vital piece for overall health and well-being. Unlike physical improvement, where the results are noticeable over time, we rarely measure our mental fortitude from one point to the next. When we stop and reflect on our thinking, it’s usually the result of some adversity where we behaved in a way that required it. Creating strong mental pathways through reflection, meditation, and journaling encourages us to pause and work the intellectual muscles that shape our thoughts and beliefs. These guide us toward behaviors and outcomes that, with consistent practice, become more thoughtful and productive for ourselves and those around us.
[1] Duckworth, Angela. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. New York. Scribner, 2016.
[2] Reivich, Karen & Shatté, Andrew. The Resilience Factor. New York. Three Rivers Press, 2002.
[3] https://www.headspace.com/
[4] https://www.calm.com/