Make better decisions

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step- Lao Tzu

Simply speaking, even the smallest decisions can lead to big changes. That’s why our decisions can propel us to new heights or create unexpected obstacles that are difficult to overcome. We’re the curators of our lives and responsible for every decision, good and bad. The founder of Taoism and author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu, memorialized this belief in the above quote. Ranking decisions as big or small is less important than understanding the impact of those decisions and how they lay the foundation for what’s to come. So how can we be confident that our decisions are optimal for future growth? The answer is more complicated than you might think.

Rational or irrational.

Philosophers have debated whether humans are inherently rational or irrational, respective to their decisions for centuries. There’s no simple answer because we behave differently in different situations; we can be rational and irrational simultaneously. French existential philosopher John Paul Sartre described it this way in his 1943 essay, “Being and Nothingness.”

"Man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself, yet is at the same time the one who is responsible for everything that he is. For if, in fact, existence precedes essence, there is no fixed human nature to which man can refer and which he can use as a yardstick for his actions. Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself. Such is the first principle of existentialism."

Sartre argues that humans are condemned to be free because we are not born with a fixed nature. We can, and should, choose who we want to be and what we want to do with our lives. However, this freedom also means that we are responsible for our decisions. We cannot blame our circumstances or our upbringing for our actions. We make the choices and are responsible for the consequences of those choices.

This can come across as a harsh reality given that people are born into different circumstances, some far better or far worse than others. Nonetheless, Sartre would argue that the individual is ultimately responsible for their decisions, given the circumstances they find themselves in. This is the rational argument.

But Sartre also argues that human beings are irrational beings. Our emotions and desires often drive us, and we are not always rational in our decision-making. However, Sartre argues that this irrationality is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, he argues that it is what makes us uniquely human. Our irrationality allows us to be creative and experience the world in a way that would not be possible if we were purely rational. Our values and beliefs are what drive our decisions. If we’re relying on a biased belief or an emotional trigger, the decision that follows may not reap the outcomes we hoped for.

Sartre's view of human rationality was complex and challenging. It forces us to confront the fact that we are free, responsible, rational, and irrational. This can be a difficult pill to swallow, but it is also a liberating one. It allows us to control our lives and create our destiny when we take the time to examine what’s happening beneath the surface.

The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates

If we accept that our values and beliefs drive our decisions, then it rationally follows that we should take a deep dive into what they are and how they impact our daily lives. Whenever we experience difficulties, we can usually point to a foundational value or belief conflict. As complex beings, we don’t think, feel, or believe anything in a vacuum. A vast array of experiences and beliefs are attached to those experiences that lay dormant in our minds. Only when we’re reminded (i.e., triggered) to recall those experiences, do we have the opportunity to realize the impact.

Values and beliefs.

Understanding your values requires a deeper understanding of their meaning. Values are what we rank as important and more or less form a hierarchy when we consider one decision over another. Something as simple as a value card exercise can reveal how some values are more important to us than others. Regardless, we are rarely driven by a single value. Rather, when acting rationally, we optimize our decisions to honor our most deeply held values. To do so, we must fully identify and understand what they are.

I first referenced the importance of knowing our beliefs here. The focus was our in-the-moment beliefs and how those interpretations affect our decision-making. Another feature of our belief systems references more deeply held and immovable beliefs that exist below our level of immediate awareness. These underlying rules guide us, even when we don’t realize it. Researchers and psychologists Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatté refer to these as our iceberg beliefs and described them in detail in their book, “The Resilience Factor.”

“We call these underlying beliefs iceberg beliefs because they are fixed, frozen beliefs that you don’t often consciously think about, and since they lurk beneath the surface of awareness, they can sink you. Iceberg beliefs tend to be general propositions or rules for living that apply to more than the situation at hand. “In fact, many people have iceberg beliefs that fall into one of three general categories or themes: achievement, acceptance, and control.”

Building an understanding of how you view the world makes a critical difference in the decisions you make. It’s important to refrain from judging these themes or questioning their efficacy unless they create conflict and hold you back. More often, they simply play a role in the larger context of life.

Making sound decisions is complex and greatly differs from our daily default decisions. When we take responsibility for personal growth and set goals outside our comfort zone, it’s important to understand the values and beliefs that drive those desires. Building that foundation provides breathing room to explore the other aspects of decision-making that can make a difference between progress or stagnation. Striving toward our highest potential requires a vision of what that looks like, which requires a roadmap, and, finally, an internal navigation system to keep us on the right path.