Essays
Dealing with bullies.
Why do some experiences stand out more than others? Happy interactions with family or friends are every day, but so are experiences that create sadness, embarrassment, or shame. Some may involve conflict, falling short of a goal, or temporarily behaving in a way that violates personal beliefs or values.
The Hard Truth: How Dialogue Can Resolve Conflict
Internal conflicts are one thing, but how do we handle conflict with others when it challenges our values and beliefs or hinders our personal growth? What if the circumstances are such that we can’t avoid addressing an issue that prevents us from making measurable progress or remaining loyal to our principles?
Discipline consistently applied
Discipline is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot without much explanation. People tend to think of discipline as something you either have or don't have, but in reality, it's more about how you approach your work than anything else. Discipline is a key ingredient to success in any area of life. To succeed, you must commit to your goals and do whatever it takes—even when no one is watching—to achieve them.
Make better decisions
Simply speaking, even the smallest decisions can lead to big changes. That’s why our decisions can propel us to new heights or create unexpected obstacles that are difficult to overcome. We’re the curators of our lives and responsible for every decision, good and bad.
Facing the dragon
In author and philosopher Joseph Campbell's “The Hero with a Thousand Faces,” a dragon represents the most fearsome and challenging obstacle a person can face. Metaphorically speaking, dragons represent our internal struggles with fear or greed, sitting atop a fragile ego. However, as Campbell writes, facing our dragon is vital to achieving the boon, i.e., experience, that follows. The same experience we take and leverage during the next challenge.
Prioritize health
When asked to prioritize their values, people often rank health in the top 3 and many times the top priority. A healthy mind, body, and spirit influence other areas of your life. When one or more of those are unhealthy, or worse, in a state of decline, the different areas of your life also suffer. Building healthy habits takes time and resources, but the benefits exponentially exceed the initial inputs.
Do the right thing.
Doing the “right” thing is not easy. Even more challenging is knowing what the right thing to do is. I’m not referring to ethical or moral decisions, although those can be equally challenging. I’m referring to actions that move us in a particular direction. Choices that impact future choices carry their own unique consequences. It may involve making decisions that go against our own desires or beliefs or be difficult to make in the face of peer pressure.
Grow a backbone.
The importance of understanding who you are and what values you place above others on your hierarchy is so you can recognize and respond when those values are challenged. When we experience negative emotions like anger or frustration, we can generally identify an internal or external value conflict. Our internal values routinely conflict when choosing between two equally attractive or unattractive options.
Don’t quit.
The visions and designs for our future routinely occur in a comfortable place, when we’re well rested and most, if not all, of our needs are met. We’re content with where we are but feel that there’s more to do and accomplish. A spark of motivation and self-confidence to become a better version of ourselves or experience more of what life offers.
Fail forward.
One of the purposes of these essays is to convey universal thoughts and ideas. Truisms that, if applied to life, would reap benefits or limit the possibility of disappointment and failure. Which brings up the idea of failure as a consequence of action. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be successful at anything. If success were guaranteed, you would feel less, if any, accomplishment or gratitude for the effort.
Comfortable being uncomfortable.
Imagine being the new person in a place of 1,000,000 people, many of whom will expose your deepest-held fears and challenge your long-held beliefs about what is true. You have two choices; you can go back to the comfort of what you know but sacrifice any chance of evolving into the person you were born to be, or you can navigate this unfamiliar environment and experience everything it offers.
Crossing the threshold.
We strive to create a sense of comfort and safety while battling the restlessness of wanting more in our lives. We often don’t know what this “something more” is, only that our attention is directed away from the present and toward a more optimized version of ourselves. Living in the present moment is considered ideal in most circumstances, and ruminating about the past or worrying about the future rarely produces meaningful insights. Yet we often do both without reflecting on the memories or thoughts that focus our attention.