Comfortable being uncomfortable.
Imagine being the new person in a place of 1,000,000 people, many of whom will expose your deepest-held fears and challenge your long-held beliefs about what is true. You have two choices; you can go back to the comfort of what you know but sacrifice any chance of evolving into the person you were born to be, or you can navigate this unfamiliar environment and experience everything it offers. The opportunities to develop or devolve depend entirely on how you prepare your mind for the challenge. It could be the best or worst experience of your life, profound or shallow. Growth depends on how well you can be comfortable when feeling uncomfortable; how well you adapt to the new and constantly changing environment that holds unique lessons that can propel you toward a more fulfilling future.
Facing your demons.
We spend time hiding from or making excuses for our bad habits. Our negative thoughts or actions keep us where we are and prevent us from moving toward aspirations or goals that maintain residence in our minds. It’s the rare person who possesses the required self-awareness to expose their unique afflictions and is still able to keep them at bay for the benefit of personal growth. Rather than ignore the dark side of their personality, they embrace the discomfort and face these personal demons.
You may have heard of people who have overcome tremendous obstacles in their quest for greatness. The problem with listening to or reading these stories after the fact and not experiencing them firsthand is the need for more empathy to understand what they went through. We share in the accomplishment, not the effort or experiences required. And when any achievement is reached, the amazement of that achievement slowly fades over time. Imagine the astonishment of the first powered airplane flight. The first-of-its-kind event lasted 12 seconds and covered just over 100 feet. We’re now figuring out how to travel and populate Mars. The idea of staying aloft for 12 seconds seems pedestrian in comparison, but we wouldn’t have progressed without that initial step. Yet we only remember the completion and can never know the trials and tribulations the Wright brothers experienced along the way. They feared someone stealing their idea and achieving powered flight before they did and were harassed by naysayers calling them liars and frauds. They stayed in that uncomfortable space; we can only imagine but not feel the strain.
Focus on the present.
Your visions of achievement may not rise to the level of powered air travel, but the rules of suffering still apply. The stress and uneasiness of the journey are what make the experience worthwhile. Instead of focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel, we’re more interested in what’s going on inside the tunnel.
Think of it this way; the light provides a direction, nothing more. There’s no lesson beyond that. We don’t suddenly gain knowledge once reaching our end goal. The travels and subsequent obstacles that create the discomfort and suffering all occur within the tunnel, the road we’re traveling, not the final destination. Understanding this difference is necessary to build the resilience to be comfortable when uncomfortable.
What we envision as the goal is more of a north star, a direction to move toward. The unique thing about this direction is that it places us on a path filled with different lessons. Lessons we would not learn any other way. The experiences gained during this journey are the reward. If we shift our mindsets and understand this critical difference, we will gain more valuable and practical insights.
Understanding and accepting the need for discomfort doesn’t identify how it will take shape. We’re not all afraid of the same things or harbor identical doubts about our skills and abilities. A simple formula is to think about a time when you were reluctant to do something you knew you should do. Not an errand or something on your to-do list; I mean a more significant life change that you continually put off. Maybe you’re still putting it off. The keystone holding the internally created obstructions is the lack of courage to face the discomfort required to make the needed change.
Effort does not require talent.
Are you afraid of looking inept? All beginners may look inept; that’s why they’re beginners. Accept it. You’ve tried before and failed. You may fail again; success isn’t guaranteed. But you can promise yourself and ensure that you will commit to continuous and consistent effort. You’re concerned that your family or friends won’t accept or support your goal. It may be time to find new allies and have a heart-to-heart conversation with your most trusted family members. Whatever you identify as issues, they are directly responsible for creating the discomfort and are your responsibility to solve.
If addressing and overcoming discomfort were easy, everyone would accomplish their goals 100% of the time. It’s not easy; it may be the hardest thing you ever do. And if you’re successful, you can look forward to facing it again when setting another more audacious goal. The lesson is to build the habit. Become the person who signs up for uncomfortable things. The person whom others look at and think, “that must be easy for them,” not knowing the inner battles you face every time you take on a new challenge. The resilience muscles can be built to withstand these challenges, but you have to be willing to engage the experiences within the tunnel instead of the light that guides the way.