Essays
Dealing with bullies.
Why do some experiences stand out more than others? Happy interactions with family or friends are every day, but so are experiences that create sadness, embarrassment, or shame. Some may involve conflict, falling short of a goal, or temporarily behaving in a way that violates personal beliefs or values.
Facing the dragon
In author and philosopher Joseph Campbell's “The Hero with a Thousand Faces,” a dragon represents the most fearsome and challenging obstacle a person can face. Metaphorically speaking, dragons represent our internal struggles with fear or greed, sitting atop a fragile ego. However, as Campbell writes, facing our dragon is vital to achieving the boon, i.e., experience, that follows. The same experience we take and leverage during the next challenge.
Do the right thing.
Doing the “right” thing is not easy. Even more challenging is knowing what the right thing to do is. I’m not referring to ethical or moral decisions, although those can be equally challenging. I’m referring to actions that move us in a particular direction. Choices that impact future choices carry their own unique consequences. It may involve making decisions that go against our own desires or beliefs or be difficult to make in the face of peer pressure.
Grow a backbone.
The importance of understanding who you are and what values you place above others on your hierarchy is so you can recognize and respond when those values are challenged. When we experience negative emotions like anger or frustration, we can generally identify an internal or external value conflict. Our internal values routinely conflict when choosing between two equally attractive or unattractive options.
Don’t quit.
The visions and designs for our future routinely occur in a comfortable place, when we’re well rested and most, if not all, of our needs are met. We’re content with where we are but feel that there’s more to do and accomplish. A spark of motivation and self-confidence to become a better version of ourselves or experience more of what life offers.
The power of awareness.
Consider the idea that we influence the world we inhabit. What I mean by “inhabit” is the environment or space we occupy physically, mentally, and spiritually. We have choices in our physical world with where we live, whom we associate with, the material things that attract our attention or possess, and so on. Our mental space is comprised of inputs provided internally and externally. Much of our internal thoughts are influenced by what we choose to see, read, or hear. We may be spiritually guided by an internal compass or follow a given religious or philosophical ideology, manifested internally or influenced by the outside world. The challenge with living a full life is to recognize your role, where you are, how you got there, and what you allow to provide your sense of what is true and what isn’t. We are equally the architect of our domain as we are prisoners to it.
Comfortable being uncomfortable.
Imagine being the new person in a place of 1,000,000 people, many of whom will expose your deepest-held fears and challenge your long-held beliefs about what is true. You have two choices; you can go back to the comfort of what you know but sacrifice any chance of evolving into the person you were born to be, or you can navigate this unfamiliar environment and experience everything it offers.
Crossing the threshold.
We strive to create a sense of comfort and safety while battling the restlessness of wanting more in our lives. We often don’t know what this “something more” is, only that our attention is directed away from the present and toward a more optimized version of ourselves. Living in the present moment is considered ideal in most circumstances, and ruminating about the past or worrying about the future rarely produces meaningful insights. Yet we often do both without reflecting on the memories or thoughts that focus our attention.
What’s holding you back?
I’ve written about the inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough, we’re going to fail again, and everything else that prevents us from pursuing what is meaningful. Pushing outside our comfort zones triggers feelings of fear and doubt. But we’re still driven toward something we want or believe we want. So how do you overcome those inner demons when they’ve paralyzed your brain into overthinking or an inability to form a coherent thought? You have to dig in and figure out what it is that is holding you back.
Do challenging things.
Life is easy. We live in the safest, most abundant, and most opportunity-filled existence in the history of humanity. It was a daily grind not long ago to find food, avoid a violent encounter with a wild animal or person, and stay protected in the harsh elements. Almost none of that exists today. Life has become an exercise in appearance, perception, and making choices that will make it even easier, if possible. This is a path that leads to nowhere.