Don’t quit.
The visions and designs for our future routinely occur in a comfortable place, when we’re well rested and most, if not all, of our needs are met. We’re content with where we are but feel that there’s more to do and accomplish. A spark of motivation and self-confidence to become a better version of ourselves or experience more of what life offers. We map a path forward, realize the challenges ahead and strengthen our determination to succeed. It all seems worthwhile and achievable until we slowly lose momentum or face an obstacle we didn’t consider or even think was possible. Our inner voice and self-doubt ring the loudest when we’re faced with these challenges, and it’s these moments where we must reaffirm the commitment we made at the start.
Visualizing goals is simple. Mapping out a strategy for success takes energy and time, and there’s often a steep learning curve depending on the audacity of the goal or your current knowledge and experience. But it all seems possible and achievable during those initial steps. Fresh resolve hasn’t been challenged, and you’re motivated toward learning and growth.
The greatest challenge to the success of any goal is when you’re in the belly of the beast and begin questioning every motivation and vision you possess. What was important a month ago suddenly doesn’t seem so critical now. New overshadowing thoughts counter your earlier pledge. The people who look up to you, love you, and support you will still harbor those feelings if you don’t accomplish your goal, so nobody is being let down. Instead of the powerful image of success envisioned earlier, negotiating an amenable exit strategy dominates your thoughts.
Your brain is engaged in a battle between two voices. One voice is concerned with basic survival, and most goals don’t rise to the level of life or death. Maintaining the status quo and ensuring safety is the primary concern. Change is unnecessary, and anything beyond that is unimportant and inessential. The other voice, the creator of the vision and decider of what to do, is desperate to quell the storm. Remembering the thoughts and feelings that compelled action in the first place is paramount yet challenging to grasp. One voice is permitting you to stop, maybe demanding it, and the other is looking for a logical path forward to maintain progress.
Negotiating with your goals is not an option. Refrain from permitting yourself to do so, no matter how hard the path may appear. If you were thoughtful and deliberate in forming your goals, then the reasons you had are equally valid now. That’s important to remember because we often create new excuses to question our prior reasoning. The goal I chose is selfish and self-centered. What I believed to be important was caving to vanity and narcissism. The level of challenge will dictate how harsh your inner voice will scream compelling excuses. Plan for this to happen, and don’t let it win.
In these moments, maintaining a clear mind and focusing on what’s important is vital. Pause, take a breath, as many as it takes, to refocus and quell that voice that isn’t aimed at growth. Now is not the time to give that voice attention. Instead, remember the original vision and the feelings associated with accomplishment. Those essential elements can overpower doubt and retain a sense of control over the positive choices you’ve made to grow. You planned for obstacles and have the skills to overcome them. Whatever challenge you’re now facing is the opportunity to prove that to yourself.
Deviating from a path you carefully considered, created a plan for achieving, and already made measurable progress is a vote for fear and self-doubt. You can’t feed that part of yourself based on an emotional and temporary condition. There may be times when re-evaluating a decision is necessary, but it must be done with calm reason. Emotional decisions made in the moment aren’t conducive to consistent development. Better to work through the current challenge and reassess when you are composed, confident, and have time to reflect. You’ll often find quitting isn’t persuasive, and the prior challenge wasn’t so bad. You will also have hardened your ability to work through tough situations and can use that experience moving forward.
Aiming for achievements just beyond our abilities automatically incorporates situations and obstacles that challenge our resolve. We’re taking actions, many for the first time, without any prior experience for success. It’s taking a first step, with no guarantee for a second or third. We’re risking looking foolish, or worse, failure. Those feelings of anxiety and insecurity are what we should plan for when we begin to question our motivations and desires because these opportunities are the real treasures of goal setting. Overcoming and moving past these limiting beliefs feed that emotional voice and will change what it tells you in the future. Fear and doubt can be replaced with courage and confidence when we refuse to negotiate with our goals and honor the promises we made to ourselves.